Tongs, which are made with tongs

"Ten things were created on Sabbath Eve, at twilight... Tongs, which are made with tongs."
Pirkei Avos (Ethics of our Fathers) 5:8

The last thing G-d created, in the moments before Shabbos, was a pair of tongs. Why a pair of tongs? Tongs are used for holding hot objects. It is impossible to make tongs if you don't have tongs available. So G-d made tongs for us. The lesson learned is; G-d wants us to finish His work, therefore He gave us the tools to do so. We have been empowered to form our own destiny, by the choices we make in life.

You act wisely, make good choices, are polite and kind, dress and speak respectably, you are bound to be treated as a respectable person. You go to school, learn a trade, work hard at becoming good at it, you are bound to be able to make a good living. We invest in ourselves, and reap the benefits.

A women is trying to conceive, or is pregnant, she is empowered to make good choices. She can choose to eat well, take supplements as necessary, drink lots of water, be in a good frame of mind, she is bound to have a great pregnancy and a healthy baby. She learns how to birth with confidence and peace, she researches her options in regard to practitioners and birthing methods, she is bound to have a good birth. We have been given the first set of tongs, now go make your own.

I will not leave you here because I can hear the outcry already; What if a women does all that and ends up with an unfortunate circumstance? Did her preparation pay off? We can't write the book of our lives, we can only try to guide our destiny based on informed choices.

"The L-rd is my Shepherd, I shall lack nothing... Even if I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me." Tehillim (Psalms) chapter 23

G-d is our Shepherd and we are His faithful and trusting flock. We put our faith and trust in Him, knowing He is with us. Whatever my destiny, be it what I have foreseen, or not, I shall lack nothing, it is perfect for me. Sometimes I feel like I am walking in the valley of the shadow of death, yet I will have no fear, because fear is a sign of lack of trust.

My birth is perfect for me, my birth lacks nothing. My birth is the design of G-d, Who can paint a picture far more beautiful then I can ever imagine. The thought of fear of any sort does not have a place in my birth, because I have faith. No matter what turn my birth will take, be it foreseen or unforeseen, I will welcome it, knowing that this is the best birth for me.

This is incredibly hard for me to swallow. I am the type of person who is thrilled to be given the tongs. I will plan my birth to the last detail, of how long it will last, and how many times I will breath down until the birth of my baby. I will feel fine and have strength, in the safety and holiness of my home, to birth in comfort, surrounded by loving, supportive people. So the nagging 'but what if...' drives me crazy, it can't be 'what if...' it has to be just so, no one can steal my image of a perfect birth from me!

That's when I take a deep breath and say, "Why should I worry about the 'what if...'? The 'what if...' is for G-d to decide, He knows whats right for me, and that's how it will be." Then the 'what if...' fades away, leaving a feeling of warmth, protection and deep faith.

Keep an eye out for future posts on the topic of FEAR in labor and birth.