Why I am blogging

My oldest son just turned three. My little one is two. My kids are the center of my life, they are delightful and beautiful, a mothers dream. I know that whatever they learn and who they are come from the environment that they are exposed to. My husband and I are their biggest influences, they learn manners, respect, how to express love, how to verbalize upset, from us. Then there are preschool, teachers, friends, and the anonymous individuals they encounter everywhere.

The first two years are the years when they learn the most, their brains are soaking in life skills that will accompany them throughout their lives. The first moments of learning take place in the womb. They feel when Mommy is calm or agitated, they hear loving and happy voices, or sad and angry voices. Their first exposure to life, however, is at the moment of birth.

A birth memory is a memory which is written on our psyche in indelible black marker. How does Mommy react to a contraction (or surge)? is she able to remain calm, does she welcome the experience? Was Daddy there? Did he reassure Mommy and help her remain focused and calm? Is Mommy making sure to breath properly so that I can get proper oxygen? After all, I am also working hard here. And as my head emerged, was there a harsh light that blinded me momentarily, or soft, dim lighting? Were there loud voices, or gentle, loving tones? Was I handled with love, on my Mommy's chest? Or was I scrubbed with a harsh cloth and left on a warming table on my own?

This birth memory is not just a memory for the baby, it's a memory for Mom as well. Was I empowered and strong? Did I remain calm and positive? Who was there and how were they treating me? Did they have faith in me? Did I have faith in myself? Did I have support and encouragement from the people around me? When a Mom is able to feel empowered and leave her birth exhilarated, this translates into how she perceives herself as a Mom. A Mom that leaves her birth saying, well, I will do better next time, has cheated herself out of life's most refreshing, rewarding and empowering experiences.

This is not a judgement on past births, rather this is a moment of introspection. If you are expecting, trying, or have a family member or friend who is expecting, you should take a moment to reflect, take a moment to return birth to it's proper place; in the hands, heart and faith of a mother.

It's important to take a moment to reflect of the amazing body G-d has given us. He created our body with the ability to conceive, without any assistance, our body knows just how to direct the process. He gave our body the knowledge to be able to nourish and grow a healthy baby, again, without any intervention. So why is it, when it comes to one of life's most beautiful and natural experiences, do we suddenly lose faith in our bodies, that we feel that we must hand this birth over to a 'professional' in order to have a healthy birth. Why is it that we so fear the pain? We fear complication? We believe that birth is a medical emergency?

There are instances where we have to thank G-d for giving wisdom to doctors and to medical research. We have the blessing of C-Section, which has saved many lives. We have the blessing of drugs that help stall pre-term labor, drugs that mature a pre-mature baby's lungs, drugs that induce labor when it is dangerous for it to continue, and drugs that stop hemorrhaging in it's tracks. There is medical equipment that can monitor a mother and baby, so we can know immediately when something, G-d forbid, goes wrong. Thing's don't go wrong in most labors, medical technology and drugs need not creep into a healthy labor. Unnecessary, intervention should be avoided at all costs, lest we cause a medical emergency by using it.

I do not claim to know much about what can go wrong. I do not claim to understand why some women need to be rescued in labor by the hands of a knowledgeable medical professional. All I can say is that no matter what happens to us, we have to have faith, faith that G-d is guiding the hands of the doctor, faith that we have the ability to pull through. We choose a midwife or doctor based on how much we believe in their ability to assist us in our goal of having a healthy birth and baby. We should put at least as much research and effort into choosing a doctor or midwife as we put into choosing a new car, or camera... After all we are entrusting our life and our baby's life in their professional hands.

In future posts, I will blog about a different approach to birth, an age old approach to birth which is being revived. An approach to Birth with Faith.